Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
