Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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