I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
