She said her name was "party"
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize