He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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