guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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