If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
