i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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