I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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