Need sex. Gaining weight.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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