Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
