i think my tv is drunk
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
