You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
