Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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