that's an acceptable place to lick
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Holy sore nipples Batman
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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