My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
