If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
