i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize