You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
