If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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