I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
In America we eat man semen.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
