What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
