Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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