I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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