i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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