you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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