You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
