If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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