Someone shit on the floor
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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