Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
