Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize