i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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