He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
