i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
