How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
