carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Two words: blizzard sex
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
