...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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