Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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