So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
