What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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