I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
