sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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