Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
