You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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