A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
