the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
