Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
