I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
