He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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