What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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