drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
