So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
