What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
