Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
try to milk me bitch
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
