Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
