I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
