lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
