I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize