I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
