That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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