never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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