all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
