He passed out mid-signature
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
