I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
