I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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